The Promise that Never Returned

Let me tell you the story
Of a Promise named Charlie,
On an un Exceptional day.
He put ten strings on the socket,
reniced some child process
then require('mbta')

Chorus
Did he ever resolve,
No he never resolved
and his fate is still unsolv’d
He’s been <pending> forever
on that un-called closure
He’s the Promise that never resolved

Charlie yielded his time
somewhere down in libuv
and he queued in
th’event loop main.
When he got called the constructor told him
“one more bracket”
Charlie couldn’t reach then() again

“Only one more build,”
said the rock star coder
“I’ll replace four lines with three”
But, alas, git merge
of the branch to master
And the Promise sailed out to sea!

Oh the DevOps ninja
Reboots the build in production
Every day at quarter past two
And through the open window
Charlie’s newlines are sandwiched
As the log goes rumbling through!

Lyrics: Steven R. Loomis 2017, Parody of: “M.T.A.” words by Jacqueline Steiner, Bess Lomax-Hawes (1949) which is itself based on “The Ship That Never Returned” by author and composer Henry Clay Work (1865).